Counting The Days

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

I fixed my things yesternight, confused of what to bring and what not to bring.

Finally, I’m leaving – two days from now, that is.

I said to myself, when it’s time to cry, it’ll be all for crying.

So I had a good cry. That was what I needed. I had wished it had not rained yesterday. Somehow, the rain had spoiled half of my day. I could have done a lot more.  But just as I cannot stop myself from leaving, I cannot stop the rain from falling.

ray

I decided to leave some valuables at home – not because they’re just extra luggages, not because they’re not important anymore, not because I want to get rid of the memories, but because I knew that at one point  in life, some things need to be left behind just so we could move forward and that doesn’t mean moving away.

Maybe that’s why they say, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

I’m excited as much as I’m sad.  But I hope things will turn out fine. So that when it’s time to smile, it’ll be all for smiling.

Advertisements

Flashback

I didn’t exactly know why I suddenly asked for his number (from a friend who doesn’t even know him). My first reason was I wanted to ask how many of them chose to have sex with him, which was quite mean and judgmental, not to mention absurd. But more than that, I don’t care.

And now, I’m almost dead meat. I mean, how long do I expect myself to act this way? Honestly, I just want to greet him a Happy Bornday days from now, which is quite overrated, boring, and wholesome. Duh.

I bet. This is just part of my oh-so boring summer life. Which is sort of pathetic. As if he’s that important. Tsk. Tsk.

1_715998315l

Sana’y nadadaan lang sa ganito ang lahat.

When Things Aren’t The Same

I know I won’t get over this very soon. Minutes ago, I was out with three of my friends at Calle Cinco drinking our livers out. It was a bit unusual. Non-smokers went smoking. Ang hindi naman dating nagkakalat, kanina ay nagkalat. Patunay lang na lahat ng bagay ay nagbabago. I admit, I’m a bit emotional about this. It’s just that things feel so different this way.

Parang kailan lang, lahat kami ay nagsasaya sa Calle Cinco, kanina ay apat lang kami. Hay. Iba-iba na ang mga landas na tinatahak namin. Ganun talaga. Nakakalungkot. 😦

Alam mo yung ganun? Alam mo namang magkikita pa kayong lahat, pero matatagalan pa at hindi mo alam kung kelan ulit ang susunod. Malamang nakakasuka na ang pagiging emotional ko. Pero anong magagawa ko? Ganun talaga.

Extended nga ang pahinga ko bago ko tuluyang lisanin ang lugar na ito. Kaya nga ngayon pa lang, sasabihin ko na ito.

To the present ones

Coh, you’ll always be the brad I have. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that you’re influenced by us, your B.I. friends. But I know we’re all happy. Hindi naman nakakamatay ang hindi pagiging moralista paminsan-minsan. Hehe. Rock on brad!

Krish, kahit medyo nagkalat ka kanina, idol pa rin kita sa inuman. Baka nadala ka lang kasi wala si Simon. Hehe. Medyo affected si Krisha kasi nga may record syang malinis na malinis tuwing inuman. Ok lang yan. Ganyan talaga. Kanya-kanyang oras lang yan.

Elton, alam kong nagsusumikap kang makapagtrabaho. I’m happy for you. Pero hindi ko pa rin binabawi ang sinabi kong magsampalan na lang tayo ng pera pagdating ng panahon. Haha. All my loving Ton!

To the absent ones

Beans, you’ve done so much to defend why I chose this job. Salamat. I trust you enough that you’d do well. For now, I’ll leave the task to you, sorry. Alam ko namang ikaw ang unang tatanungin kung nasaan na ako at anong ginagawa ko ngayon. But don’t worry, pagdating ng panahon, you’ll have the best lawyer to defend you – for free! Ehem. Alam mo na kung sino yun.

Joan, hindi ako magkaka-aids, pangako yan. Parang bothered ka kasi lagi na baka magka-aids ako. Haha. Trust me! At hindi ko makakalimutang chumika nu. Diba? Walang taong busy kung gusto nyang magbigay ng panahon. We’ll see each other in a bang!

Anj, maaaring hindi matuloy ang pinapangarap nating napaka-wholesome na trip to Crocodile Park, pasensya talaga. Pero don’t worry, kahit saan mo gusto next time, itutuloy natin. Wag magpakabangi sa Thesis. Hehe.

Ste, hindi man tayo magkakasama sa lugar na pinangarap natin, mamimiss kita. Magtext ka naman paminsan-minsan. Hehe.

Gold, pareho tayong bored alam ko. Makakahanap ka rin ng trabahong para sayo. Pare, wag masyadong pag-antayin si Susan ok?

At ayan, kung magkakapera man lang ako ng maraming-marami, ililibre ko kayo ng DRINK and EAT ALL YOU CAN! Pati na rin Shisha. Mahal ko kayo. 🙂

Half

Maybe that’s why I didn’t bother pack my things up last night.

Maybe that’s why I and my father had some cold war lately.

Maybe that’s why my mother wanted me to go home before I leave.

Maybe that’s why I am half-happy and half-lonely.

MAYBE. JUST MAYBE.

 

My official start date was moved to May 22, instead of May 13. So I will be leaving on the 21st. About a week more to go. More time to rest, sleep, and eat. More time to hibernate, more time to do this and that. More time for possible cold wars. More time for possible guess whats (ehem!). And more time to get bored to tears.

At least, there’s more time to be here. And I hope when the time comes that I surely have to leave, I’ll be more prepared. *Sigh*

Sense of YOU-more

WARNING: High-Context.

If not for my Extra Sensory Perception (ESP), things won’t go this way. I am a self-proclaimed bearer of ESP from the moment I knew about it which had been quite years ago.

At kung hindi ba naman Nasaan Ka Maruja? ang drama ng isinumpang babaeng nagsusulat ng blog na ito, edi sana hindi ako naaapektuhan sa mga kaganapan sa paligid ko.

It has been quite some time since I have been so affected with things that happen to other people. Well, at least paapekto naman daw ako sa buhay ng mga malapit sa akin, hindi lang sa buhay ni Ted Failon.

Minutes from now, I’ll be meeting Beans before I leave for Cebu next week. And while waiting for you dearie, I have read your blog! Haha. Which made me blog about this. We’ll talk later anyway. Hehe.

freedom-crossroads

SOON.

At kung hindi ba naman ako pinanganak sa kaka-GUESS WHAT ko, edi sana walang moments of palpitation itong mahal kong kaibigan. Hay naku.

ESP ba ito? Not once, not twice, but many times. I lost count. O maliit lang talaga ang mundo? O pinanganak lang kaming kambal ng tadhana? The last (I hope) of all the guess whats I’ve caused was probably the worst. Mas pinaka pa sa lahat ng pinaka. Hindi ko na ma-explain pero muntik na akong mawalan ng ginhawa. O diba? Hayop.

O baka naman superduper friendship lang talaga natin to, kaya nahawa na ako sa palpitations mo? Ayan, sorry na Beans. Ito na ang huli. You’ll finally be free of all the ‘guess whats.’ 😦 Wee!

Future Workaholic

All creatures deserve some time to rest, and so do I. Actually, the time spent waiting for Graduation Day was a rest in itself. Technically, yes – except for anxiety attacks like sa tagal ng paghihintay ay baka hindi na matuloy. Pwede ba yun? Anyway, a month of waiting is in fact tiring. What else did I do aside from sleep, eat, text, watch tv, read books I’ve already read, read blogs, and blah blah blah? Life could not go on like that. I’d bore myself to death! Knowing me? I get bored so easily. Nakakatulog nga ako sa rollercoaster eh. HAHA.

Comm Arts Graduates with UP officials

Comm Arts Graduates with UP officials

So that was why months ago, I decided that I should be working immediately after graduation. I don’t want to get stuck at home – jobless and broke. Luckily, even before graduation, I got hired – in a job that most people find temporary, inconvenient, and as they say “not really a career.” But with the global financial crisis, who can afford to be choosy? Not me. Not when you’re offered a very competitive compensation. O, don’t battle with me. Case study ko yang GFC sa Crisis Communication ko. HAHA. Alam ko rin yang mga kaartehan ng financial meltdown. Huh.

Continue reading