Hey! For some reasons, I suddenly wanted to still get hold of this blog even though I bid goodbye 2 years ago. I luckily retrieved my log in credentials! So here, I just want to drop by and post something for the very last time to say that I soo much miss writing here – when times were still probably more about fun, you know, what do you expect. I soo miss college. This blog indeed contained all my emotions and all that I can share about my life in college and when I was transitioning to the real world. Very nostalgic..
I don’t want to make this post very long coz I’m afraid this will bring me to tears. Lol! Somehow, I consider this the prequel of my blog now: REAlity Bites where I write more about serious stuff, more about life, love, and relationships. I guess I’m really a grown-up now, a 22-year old grown-up. =)
First, I am leaving this blog 😦
Second, I am moving to a new blogsite 🙂
Yes, that’s the link to my new blog.
This blog has been a witness to the smiles I had and to tears I shed. So thanks to everybody who became a part of it. The memories will remain and everything else that are written here.
To any of you who happened to read some of the posts here, THANK YOU. I appreciate your visit. To any of you who generously dropped comments all the time, exponential THANKS.
Hi BEANS! Thanks, my ever-loyal reader and comment-er? Lol.
Since I arrived here in Cebu, this is the first thing I bought for myself.
A book by Paulo Coelho – Brida.
I bought it at Fully Booked in Ayala.
And I haven’t started reading it yet.
But I’m happy I have it.
The second, third, fourth, nth things I bought for myself are…
yeah, never mind 🙂
Why do things happen when you least expect them? Earlier, as in 2:30am, I was silently completing my e-learning modules. When I was about to finish reading, my heart suddenly went wild. It was beating rapidly! And then it reached the point when I couldn’t breathe anymore. Tears fell from my eyes as I was gasping for air.
Palpitation real-time. For the first time and for no apparent reason. I didn’t know why it happened. I was brought to the clinic and stayed there for 30 minutes. I was not even stressed nor was I nervous. I was not tired because I had a good sleep. I don’t know. I was just shocked something like that happened to me. Anyway, the nurse said that it was anxiety attack that’s why I had chest pain.
I was just happy I have friends who made me feel good. You know what I mean. I went here with no one to expect from (except my cousin of course). My mindset rested on the fact that for sure, I’ll meet a lot of people here.
There’s Aj, who offered to bring me to the clinic; Bubbles, who checked on me every now and then; Aya & Joanne, who asked me how I was feeling; Ivy, who repeatedly checked if I was really fine; Al, who softly tapped my back. Oh, I was just glad I met them. We’ve only been together for two weeks yet it felt like we’ve known each other for quite a long time.
I know they won’t be able to read this. Maybe not now. But in my heart, I’m thankful I have them.
It’s when the nights are colder and the days are hotter that things get weirder and weirder.
As early as 5am today, my heart fell to my heels for a second. I swear it took me just a second to answer yes. But anyway, nothing to worry. It’s all cool.
And the million dollar question was have you or haven’t you? Translated to my way of thinking, it’s actually like are you or aren’t you?
So I was like, whoa! For the first time, somebody had the gall to personally ask me that kind of question. Talk about culture shock. In any case, I should get used to it. Whew!
I keep on reminding myself not to panic when stressful moments come. This is when you realize that things are not easy after all. My 2pm-11pm shift ended last Friday which now puts me to a 7pm-4am shift. God. It was pretty stressful if you think about it. But what can I do? This is where the real job gets in, and I have to embrace it simply because I chose to do this and nobody coerced me to sign the job contract.
But hey! Looking at the bright side of things, I get paid just for learning something! Great? I admit. Yesterday was a struggle. I was not able to sleep the whole day to prepare for the late night training. And that’s because I needed to claim my allowance. I wasn’t able to go home and rest. I ended up looking like an addict who couldn’t get a fix. Well, everybody in the training room looked the same. Except for the new trainer whose favorite question was “are we cool?” And then everybody managed to let out a plain YES.
We were dismissed for the mealbreak an hour after the promised mealbreak time, which made me quite out of focus because I was really hungry and sleepy. Good thing, siomai made my day.
So we were out for mealbreak at midnight. And here’s where siomai enters the story. Before I left Gensan, the whole siomai thing was in my subconscious. I just recalled some sort of a sign I was thinking of before I left. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.
The bottomline is: my day wasn’t that great but siomai made it great. 🙂
Finally, I’m already here. Here, somewhere far from the life I used to live, far from the things I used to do, far from the people I love, and far from the person I used to be.
Crossing the Sea
(Got that photo here.)
Living a new life is just as tough as facing the real world. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. You ask questions but you simply can’t answer them yet. You begin to wonder why the hell you’re here on earth. You begin to be more aware that you don’t live for yourself alone. Other people are expecting so much from you and the worst thing that you don’t want to happen is to fail and disappoint them.
And these things are exactly what I have been experiencing since the day I set foot on this island. I am 45 minutes away from home – by plane, that is. So near yet so far. I don’t know what to expect but I don’t think about it anymore. I wake up, go to work, do my job, satisfy myself and the people who need to be satisfied, go home, and sleep. The next day, I still do the same. You may realize that my life is going to be routinary. True enough, it is. But since I always look at the brighter side of things, I believe that each day is still different from the other.
I am learning to love my life now. I was kind of startled. I knew it’s not going to be that easy. And I was right. Being the optimist that I am, I am pretty sure I’ll get to cope with the new environment and the new people.
Let God’s holy will be done.