I am NOT in love.
I SWEAR, I’m not.
But I do not know exactly how I feel. I just hate feeling this way. Feeling something I do not understand. It’s something I cannot resist. I keep on thinking about it. I hope I can just be insensitive whenever I want to. But this thing makes me ill, makes me dead, makes me naive.
I know I should not be feeling this way.
I know I do not have even the single right, the least right to feel this way.
But this is not the first time I have felt this way. I do not understand.
I just do not know.
I do not know.
But I am dying to know.
Maybe, just maybe.
I DO NOT KNOW.
And it kills me – softly, gently.
Knowing that someday, somehow, sometime I’ll be outta here, out of this feeling.
I hope this feeling will just pass and die a natural death.
Because I cannot stand it.
But whatever it is, I deserve to know.
So please let me know.