This has always been the trend. Why do I always have to cry before my birthday? I’m gonna be TWENTY on the 7th – and that would be only two days from now. I don’t know, but I always want my birthday to be extra special because it is the best day of the year that I most feel good about myself. And its a lot more different to me this year since I will be waving goodbye to my TEEN years.
I didn’t go to school today, no class, that is. I got bored so I did the laundry, cleaned the whole boarding house, including the literally dirty kitchen! And it was my first time to clean the comfort rooms. Lucky me, my boringness was so productive. Woahh!
So anyway, during the last three years, a day or a night before my birthday, I was always crying – hard. On my 17th and 18th, I and my special friend had an argument so I was that pissed. On my 19th, I lost my money or I didn’t know if I had paid the taxi driver more than needed. Grr.
And behold, just a while ago, my Mama forgot that she needed to send me my allowance today. Her reason? She said she was busy and she needed to attend to some transactions. Now what? This is the first time she forgot sending me money and it’s when I need it most, because I am so broke! So I had to cry. But I had already managed that.
The next thing is, well, Beans is really making me cry! I was just bothered, honestly, by my conscience! That’s because of what happened last night, but he told me not to worry about it anymore. I still do. *Sigh*
Is this some sort of a blessing? Are tears blessings? For all you know, I cry every night, just secretly. And I am getting used to it. Maybe I just have to see these pre-birthday tears as birthday gifts.