So Long WordPress

TWO things.

First, I am leaving this blog

Second, I am moving to a new blogsite

CONFESSIONS OF A GENE-USE.

Yes, that’s the link to my new blog.

This blog has been a witness to the smiles I had and to tears I shed. So thanks to everybody who became a part of it. The memories will remain and everything else that are written here.

To any of you who happened to read some of the posts here, THANK YOU. I appreciate your visit. To any of you who generously dropped comments all the time, exponential THANKS.

Hi BEANS! Thanks, my ever-loyal reader and comment-er? Lol.

Just Read

Since I arrived here in Cebu, this is the first thing I bought for myself.

 A book by Paulo Coelho – Brida.

I bought it at Fully Booked in Ayala.

And I haven’t started reading it yet.

But I’m happy I have it.

The second, third, fourth, nth things I bought for myself are…

yeah, never mind

Anxiety Attack

Why do things happen when you least expect them? Earlier, as in 2:30am, I was silently completing my e-learning modules. When I was about to finish reading, my heart suddenly went wild. It was beating rapidly! And then it reached the point when I couldn’t breathe anymore. Tears fell from my eyes as I was gasping for air.

Palpitation real-time. For the first time and for no apparent reason. I didn’t know why it happened. I was brought to the clinic and stayed there for 30 minutes. I was not even stressed nor was I nervous. I was not tired because I had a good sleep. I don’t know. I was just shocked something like that happened to me. Anyway, the nurse said that it was anxiety attack that’s why I had chest pain.

I was just happy I have friends who made me feel good. You know what I mean. I went here with no one to expect from (except my cousin of course). My mindset rested on the fact that for sure, I’ll meet a lot of people here.

There’s Aj, who offered to bring me to the clinic; Bubbles, who checked on me every now and then; Aya & Joanne, who asked me how I was feeling; Ivy, who repeatedly checked if I was really fine; Al, who softly tapped my back.  Oh, I was just glad I met them. We’ve only been together for two weeks yet it felt like we’ve known each other for quite a long time.

I know they won’t be able to read this. Maybe not now. But in my heart, I’m thankful I have them.

Wtf!

 

It’s when the nights are colder and the days are hotter that things get weirder and weirder.

As early as 5am today, my heart fell to my heels for a second. I swear it took me just a second to answer yes. But anyway, nothing to worry. It’s all cool.

And the million dollar question was have you or haven’t you?  Translated to my way of thinking, it’s actually like are you or aren’t you?

So I was like, whoa! For the first time, somebody had the gall to personally ask me that kind of question. Talk about culture shock. In any case, I should get used to it. Whew!

Siomai

I keep on reminding myself not to panic when stressful moments come. This is when you realize that things are not easy after all. My 2pm-11pm shift ended last Friday which now puts me to a 7pm-4am shift. God. It was pretty stressful if you think about it. But what can I do? This is where the real job gets in, and I have to embrace it simply because I chose to do this and nobody coerced me to sign the job contract.

But hey! Looking at the bright side of things, I get paid just for learning something! Great? I admit. Yesterday was a struggle. I was not able to sleep the whole day to prepare for the late night training. And that’s because I needed to claim my allowance. I wasn’t able to go home and rest. I ended up looking like an addict who couldn’t get a fix. Well, everybody in the training room looked the same. Except for the new trainer whose favorite question was “are we cool?” And then everybody managed to let out a plain YES.

We were dismissed for the mealbreak an hour after the promised mealbreak time, which made me quite out of focus because I was really hungry and sleepy. Good thing, siomai made my day.

So we were out for mealbreak at midnight. And here’s where siomai enters the story. Before I left Gensan, the whole siomai thing was in my subconscious. I just recalled some sort of a sign I was thinking of before I left. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.

The bottomline is: my day wasn’t that great but siomai made it great.  :)

Getting Started

Finally, I’m already here. Here, somewhere far from the life I used to live, far from the things I used to do, far from the people I love, and far from the person I used to be.

Crossing the Sea

(Got that photo here.)

Living a new life is just as tough as facing the real world. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. You ask questions but you simply can’t answer them yet. You begin to wonder why the hell you’re here on earth. You begin to be more aware that you don’t live for yourself alone. Other people are expecting so much from you and the worst thing that you don’t want to happen is to fail and disappoint them.

And these things are exactly what I have been experiencing since the day I set foot on this island. I am 45 minutes away from home – by plane, that is. So near yet so far. I don’t know what to expect but I don’t think about it anymore. I wake up, go to work, do my job, satisfy myself and the people who need to be satisfied, go home, and sleep. The next day, I still do the same. You may realize that my life is going to be routinary. True enough, it is. But since I always look at the brighter side of things, I believe that each day is still different from the other.

I am learning to love my life now. I was kind of startled. I knew it’s not going to be that easy. And I was right. Being the optimist that I am, I am pretty sure I’ll get to cope with the new environment and the new people.

Let God’s holy will be done.

Counting The Days

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

I fixed my things yesternight, confused of what to bring and what not to bring.

Finally, I’m leaving – two days from now, that is.

I said to myself, when it’s time to cry, it’ll be all for crying.

So I had a good cry. That was what I needed. I had wished it had not rained yesterday. Somehow, the rain had spoiled half of my day. I could have done a lot more.  But just as I cannot stop myself from leaving, I cannot stop the rain from falling.

I decided to leave some valuables at home – not because they’re just extra luggages, not because they’re not important anymore, not because I want to get rid of the memories, but because I knew that at one point  in life, some things need to be left behind just so we could move forward and that doesn’t mean moving away.

Maybe that’s why they say, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

I’m excited as much as I’m sad.  But I hope things will turn out fine. So that when it’s time to smile, it’ll be all for smiling.

Damned

When words aren’t enough,

a picture will do.

Flashback

I didn’t exactly know why I suddenly asked for his number (from a friend who doesn’t even know him). My first reason was I wanted to ask how many of them chose to have sex with him, which was quite mean and judgmental, not to mention absurd. But more than that, I don’t care.

And now, I’m almost dead meat. I mean, how long do I expect myself to act this way? Honestly, I just want to greet him a Happy Bornday days from now, which is quite overrated, boring, and wholesome. Duh.

I bet. This is just part of my oh-so boring summer life. Which is sort of pathetic. As if he’s that important. Tsk. Tsk.

Sana’y nadadaan lang sa ganito ang lahat.

When Things Aren’t The Same

I know I won’t get over this very soon. Minutes ago, I was out with three of my friends at Calle Cinco drinking our livers out. It was a bit unusual. Non-smokers went smoking. Ang hindi naman dating nagkakalat, kanina ay nagkalat. Patunay lang na lahat ng bagay ay nagbabago. I admit, I’m a bit emotional about this. It’s just that things feel so different this way.

Parang kailan lang, lahat kami ay nagsasaya sa Calle Cinco, kanina ay apat lang kami. Hay. Iba-iba na ang mga landas na tinatahak namin. Ganun talaga. Nakakalungkot.

Alam mo yung ganun? Alam mo namang magkikita pa kayong lahat, pero matatagalan pa at hindi mo alam kung kelan ulit ang susunod. Malamang nakakasuka na ang pagiging emotional ko. Pero anong magagawa ko? Ganun talaga.

Extended nga ang pahinga ko bago ko tuluyang lisanin ang lugar na ito. Kaya nga ngayon pa lang, sasabihin ko na ito.

To the present ones

Coh, you’ll always be the brad I have. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that you’re influenced by us, your B.I. friends. But I know we’re all happy. Hindi naman nakakamatay ang hindi pagiging moralista paminsan-minsan. Hehe. Rock on brad!

Krish, kahit medyo nagkalat ka kanina, idol pa rin kita sa inuman. Baka nadala ka lang kasi wala si Simon. Hehe. Medyo affected si Krisha kasi nga may record syang malinis na malinis tuwing inuman. Ok lang yan. Ganyan talaga. Kanya-kanyang oras lang yan.

Elton, alam kong nagsusumikap kang makapagtrabaho. I’m happy for you. Pero hindi ko pa rin binabawi ang sinabi kong magsampalan na lang tayo ng pera pagdating ng panahon. Haha. All my loving Ton!

To the absent ones

Beans, you’ve done so much to defend why I chose this job. Salamat. I trust you enough that you’d do well. For now, I’ll leave the task to you, sorry. Alam ko namang ikaw ang unang tatanungin kung nasaan na ako at anong ginagawa ko ngayon. But don’t worry, pagdating ng panahon, you’ll have the best lawyer to defend you – for free! Ehem. Alam mo na kung sino yun.

Joan, hindi ako magkaka-aids, pangako yan. Parang bothered ka kasi lagi na baka magka-aids ako. Haha. Trust me! At hindi ko makakalimutang chumika nu. Diba? Walang taong busy kung gusto nyang magbigay ng panahon. We’ll see each other in a bang!

Anj, maaaring hindi matuloy ang pinapangarap nating napaka-wholesome na trip to Crocodile Park, pasensya talaga. Pero don’t worry, kahit saan mo gusto next time, itutuloy natin. Wag magpakabangi sa Thesis. Hehe.

Ste, hindi man tayo magkakasama sa lugar na pinangarap natin, mamimiss kita. Magtext ka naman paminsan-minsan. Hehe.

Gold, pareho tayong bored alam ko. Makakahanap ka rin ng trabahong para sayo. Pare, wag masyadong pag-antayin si Susan ok?

At ayan, kung magkakapera man lang ako ng maraming-marami, ililibre ko kayo ng DRINK and EAT ALL YOU CAN! Pati na rin Shisha. Mahal ko kayo.